Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you don't like gay people... blame the str8 people...they're the ones who keep having gay babies.

   What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

   'Amber Alert' would be a bada$$ name for a stripper.

   I've got the solution to this whole anti-gay mess with the fast foods. I'm just going to open a pro-gay franchise and call it Chik-fil-HAAAAAAY *snap*

   Pictures of rich missing kids should go on the back of 1% milk.

   Omicron and Delta is an anagram for Media Control.

   If a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first,, make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee.

   If bartenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.

   .............ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

   ► Play The Moments ▌▌ Pause The Memories ■ Stop The Pain ◄◄ Rewind The Happiness.

   A girl sleeps wit a lot of men she's a sl*t, but if a guy sleeps with alot of women he's the man. Not a double standard, look at it like this. If a key opens alot of locks it's a master key, if a lock gets opened by alot of keys then it's a sh*tty lock.

   I do understand the proper usage of they're / their and there's / theirs.  I just intentionally misuse them to drive you A-types nuts!

   Dolphin position?... it's when your having sex doggy style and you go too put it in her ass and she turns around and goes eh eh eh eh.

   GAYS: if you drive a Fiat, you don't need a rainbow sticker. We already know.

   Single mothers must make the toughest decisions every day. Decisions like "Which children's toy is giving up its batteries for mommy?"

   In other news Paula Deen as made a statement in regards to the DOMA ruling: "I'm real excited for the fags, especially the colored ones."

   why does a woman have two sets of lips? One to argue with the other to apologize.

   If Jesus did jokes and not parables he’d probably have more than 12 followers.

   girls are like square roots. If they're under 15 you just do them in your head

   thinks it's pretty stupid that he can't remove his name from the status box here. I mean what kind of guy speaks of himself in third-person anyway? For real...