Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   … Everytime I see a mattress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls …

   Judge: "Wen did you realised you hv been raped?" Prostitute: "When the cheque bounced"

   A Zimbabwean man says a prostitute he hired transformed into a donkey. Sounds like he got himself a real piece of ass.

   Going to MacDonalds for a Salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

   I never said she was a prostitute, all I said was she used her panties as ankle warmers!

   Don't take life laying down. That is, unless you're a prostitute. . .

   Going to McDonalds for oatmeal is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

   what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full

   Whoever made the ''One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes'' post has never been with a prostitute...

   I told my boyfriend he needs professional help. He hired a prostitute.... well played.

   The average annual income of a U.S. prostitute is $290,000. Seems the only time getting screwed pays is when you are a hooker.

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)

   If I ever get caught soliciting a prostitute, I'm going to say "These aren't the droids I've been looking for!".

   I fold and hang clothes all day at work...then on my day off I have to do laundry...now I know what a prostitute feels like coming home to her man

   What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"

   Fun Fact: Prostitution exists among some animals too. They prostitute themselves for things like stones or food.

   A Prostitute new to the game was told by her pimp “No sex for the first 7 days..just wanks!” She asked.. “Why only wanks?”..her pimp said.. “Union rules!..you gotta work a week in hand!”

   We now live in a society where a prostitute earns more money than a school teacher. This means we have to start paying prostitutes as poorly as we do school teachers.

   And then there was the blind prostitute. You really have to hand it to her....