Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says I think this new diet may be a little too strick. I actually look forward to paying bills because I get to lick the envelopes.
X is thinking about taking up golf to cure his sex addiction...if it worked for Tiger...
X is Today is hump day right? so how come I havent been humped today??
X wondering if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
X doesn't have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.
X My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.
X I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize that I should have been more specific.
X would be more willing to accept people for who they are if they were more like how I wanted them to be.
X says Eating all of the marshmellows out of someones Lucky Charms is the highest form of disrespect.
X Protip: when wearing a waterbra, DO NOT lift a heavy box of sheet metal. You'll either end up with a hefty lefty or a mighty righty, not to mention a gigantic wet spot.
X says S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
X says a really skilled person can flick a booger on the first try
X is they always say there are more fish in the sea, they seem to forget about the crabs
X Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!"
X "Ok, so we're both illiterate. I can't spell love and you can't read it."
X I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
X is has had enough depressing news about death (i.e. Cory Haim). How about some good news? Like congratulating Ted Kennedy! He's 198 days sober today!
X The spark of a genius exists in the brain of the truly creative man from the hour of his birth. True genius is always inborn and never cultivated, let alone learned
X is doing an environmental studies course and needs ideas on how to save trees. Answers on a postcard please.
X Hopefully Paris Hilton never becomes a vampire. Sure she loves the nightlife, but she'll go nuts not being able to see her refection every 10 minutes.