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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X is thinking about taking up golf to cure his sex addiction...if it worked for Tiger...
←Rate | 03-10-2010 17:35 Comments (0)

X is Today is hump day right? so how come I havent been humped today??
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:06 Comments (0)

X wondering if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:42 Comments (0)

X doesn't have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)

X My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize that I should have been more specific.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X would be more willing to accept people for who they are if they were more like how I wanted them to be.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X says Eating all of the marshmellows out of someones Lucky Charms is the highest form of disrespect.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 19:52 by Mike R. Comments (0)

X Protip: when wearing a waterbra, DO NOT lift a heavy box of sheet metal. You'll either end up with a hefty lefty or a mighty righty, not to mention a gigantic wet spot.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 21:02 Comments (0)

X says S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 22:04 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)

X says a really skilled person can flick a booger on the first try
←Rate | 03-10-2010 22:08 by trini Comments (0)

X is they always say there are more fish in the sea, they seem to forget about the crabs
←Rate | 03-10-2010 22:13 by trini Comments (0)

X Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!"
←Rate | 03-11-2010 00:42 Comments (0)

X "Ok, so we're both illiterate. I can't spell love and you can't read it."
←Rate | 03-11-2010 01:28 by J.S. Comments (0)

X I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
←Rate | 03-11-2010 01:30 by Mduduzi Comments (0)

X is has had enough depressing news about death (i.e. Cory Haim). How about some good news? Like congratulating Ted Kennedy! He's 198 days sober today!
←Rate | 03-11-2010 02:27 Comments (1)

X The spark of a genius exists in the brain of the truly creative man from the hour of his birth. True genius is always inborn and never cultivated, let alone learned
←Rate | 03-11-2010 03:40 by Adolf Comments (1)

X is doing an environmental studies course and needs ideas on how to save trees. Answers on a postcard please.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 06:55 by SuffolkSteve Comments (0)

X Hopefully Paris Hilton never becomes a vampire. Sure she loves the nightlife, but she'll go nuts not being able to see her refection every 10 minutes.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 07:33 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)

X is has been wondering... if you force sex on a hooker is it rape or shoplifting??
←Rate | 03-11-2010 07:52 by johnny5 Comments (4)

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