Funny Status Messages for Facebook

X is messing with the new intern's mind and telling her to go pretend to water the fake plants...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:18 by Natalia Comments (0)

X 'Battery Low'....Why the hell didn't they install sockets in the toilet?!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:19 by @DjaeA Comments (1)

X is on the toilet pretending to be a fighter pilot dropping bombs into the ocean!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:21 by @DjaeA Comments (0)

X says No more b!tch pills for YOU miss crabby A$$

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:22 by cj Comments (0)

X says I may be the girl of us two, but I think I've proven I've got way more balls.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:23 by cj Comments (0)

X says So put that in your juice box and suck it!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:27 by cj Comments (0)

X says If Tylenol, duct tape and a band-aid can't fix it...you've got serious problems.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:28 by cj Comments (0)

X says Dear Tequila: We had a deal. You were supposed to make me sexier, smarter and a better dancer. But I saw the video. And I think we need to talk...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 14:33 by Samir Momin Comments (0)

X I just told a lie and now my pants feel warm. I hope they dont catch fire!

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 15:15 by Vito Comments (0)

X says On relationship status they should have "is getting played by_____________"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 15:16 by Samir Momin Comments (0)

X What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes,

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 15:56 Comments (1)

X is Would Like To Personally Thank VH1 and MTV. For helping the White Trash of America with jobs during these down economic times with the shows Jersey Shore, Tool Academy, And 16 And Pregnant..... Way To Stimulate Our Minds And Economy.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 16:03 Comments (0)

X says I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 16:41 by Samir Momin Comments (2)

X says What's a womans asshole and a battery have in common....? Sooner or later your gonna test it by putting your tongue on it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 16:44 by Kylekk Comments (0)

X says The difference between women and batteries is that batteries have positive sides.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 16:46 by Kylekk Comments (0)

X is says Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 17:09 Comments (0)

X Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 17:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X says I think this new diet may be a little too strick. I actually look forward to paying bills because I get to lick the envelopes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 17:31 by bigedusw Comments (0)

X is thinking about taking up golf to cure his sex addiction...if it worked for Tiger...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 17:35 Comments (0)

X is Today is hump day right? so how come I havent been humped today??

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-10-2010 18:06 Comments (0)