Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Satan has a new room mate!!! Bin Laden is dead! 
has Finally figured out the difference between us. You're me if I tried too hard!
BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
Finding out someone still used dial-up is like finding out they had a recent death in the family. "You gotta see this video.. you.. oh, god man, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Let me know if you need anything, ok?"
Looking back on my childhood....I'm sure Daffy Duck was on that drug "Charlie Sheen".
Note to self...apparently management doesn't find the game of hide-and-go-seek as amusing as I do....which sucks 'cus I had an awesome hiding spot.
Do kleptomaniacs take medicine for their condition or do they pay for it?
on your mind at this very moment
How do Mexicans take a family portrait?They all jam into the front seat and run a red light.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
in court her imaginary friend filed a restraining order against her
Trump could have easily discovered the theory of relatively, on his own, if Einstein didn't do it first because Trump has the greatest scientific mind ever. He's better than Jesus Christ himself.
Million Dollar Idea: A pot pie. Only bigger. And filled instead with fruit. Apples perhaps.
I have 14 friends that liked Lil Wayne. I should delete you all.
You were a straight-A student, on the honor roll, well-behaved all throughout your school years.......Now today you're wondering why you're unemployed and struggling. Do you still believe in the system "they" taught you since you were a child??
Hey? Islamis radicals..if your God tells you to kill people..please start with your self. Thanks real Americans!!
has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!
a fart is merely the cry of an imprisoned turd
Obama comes out smelling like a rose either way with the fiscal cliff thing. If it passes, he takes credit and if it doesn't, he'll just blame the Republicans
No, you may not "axe" me a question. I don't speak welfare. 