MyClueIs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon How am I supposed to be inpressed by a computer winning at Jeopardy when Google usually knows what I'm looking for after 2 letters?
←Rate | 02-22-2011 11:02 by MyClueIs Comments (1)  


   messageicon Putting a loud muffler on your car is like putting a rolled up sock in your pants; You're trying to make something seem bigger than it really is.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 10:54 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon If aliens learn about us from our TV broadcasts then they'll come here expecting 90% of the population to work in hospitals or be in law enforcement.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 10:27 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving home late, uncomfortable, cold, music blaring: About to fall asleep. Finally home, comfortable, quiet, in bed: Wide awake and posting on facebook.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 10:06 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I let my fists do the talking. And by fists I mean mouth. And by talking I mean sandwich eating.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 08:08 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was upset when I heard that Justin Beiber got a haircut because it meant I was gonna have to rearrange my "Top ten things I care least about" list.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 13:03 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finding out someone still used dial-up is like finding out they had a recent death in the family. "You gotta see this video.. you.. oh, god man, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Let me know if you need anything, ok?"
←Rate | 02-22-2011 15:03 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon His speech was long and awkward like the line for the women's bathroom at a transgender convention.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:28 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oatmeal raisin cookies are only eaten when mistaken for chocolate chip.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 12:54 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon It really upset me when I heard that Justin Bieber was anti-abortion, because it meant I had to rearrange my top 10 list of things I care least about.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 13:38 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people: Those who try to boil water in their toaster, and cowards.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:49 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite pickup line: Hey, what's your address, and are you a light sleeper?
←Rate | 02-23-2011 11:38 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm about to make like the FCC and get the *bleep* outta here.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:25 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon February is Irony Month! I'm celebrating Irony Month by treating everyone equally, just like I do every month, because we're all human.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:43 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey old guy, could you possibly smell more like mothballs? Are you carrying some on you right now? Is your bedroom like a McDonald's ball pit, just filled to the waist with moth balls?
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:52 by MyClueIs Comments (0)  


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