Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon They should change the name from "Girls Gone Wild" to "Girls Got Drunk!!!"
←Rate | 08-31-2010 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may be surprising to know that hippos are the cause of more deaths in the wild than any other animal, but you can't say you weren't warned just how hungry they were.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 22:51 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest of us just don't think it's a problem.
←Rate | 10-02-2010 12:04 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You hate me? I didn't even know you existed.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 00:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go ahead, try and hang them with care and see if that holds. I'm hanging my stockings with tacks this year.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just let my mind wander, but it didn't come back yet.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I truly hope that we will all be friends until we are all old and senile...Then we can be NEW friends!!
←Rate | 01-12-2011 10:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:21 by SLONEY Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back
←Rate | 02-25-2010 13:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon now officaly talking to Himself but somehow I hear a busy signal in my ears. I wonder if I can get Call Waiting????? Wait.... maybe it's better I don't answer myself...
←Rate | 02-27-2010 19:13 by Eric Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know this is short notice, but does anyone have a bear costume I can borrow to scare the people camped outside Best Buy for Black Friday?
←Rate | 11-23-2016 11:44 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Falcons won the popular Vote!
←Rate | 02-05-2017 23:00 by davidster2002 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 19:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would you schedule a vote on a bill that is at 17% approval? Have we forgotten everything Reagan taught us?
←Rate | 03-24-2017 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The scariest words a man can ever hear from a woman are "Notice anything different?"
←Rate | 02-23-2020 09:13 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the pigeons be like where the eff is everyone??
←Rate | 04-01-2020 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body absorbed so much hand sanitizer that when I pee it cleans the toilet...
←Rate | 04-22-2020 17:13 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pokemon GO has done more for child obesity in the last 24 hours than Michelle Obama has in the past 8 years.
←Rate | 07-11-2016 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still doubt Bernie Sanders will ever get elected for president in 2016. But his coleslaw and boneless wings get my vote every time.
←Rate | 08-30-2016 15:17 Comments (0)  




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