love Funny Status Messages

   wrote a letter to my love, and on my way I caught him, kicked him in his special place, and shoved it in his pocket! goodbye cheater

   I love it when people say they haven't evacuated during a hurricane because they had to protect their homes. Who the hell do they think they are? Superman?

   Honestly, I love every single some of you.

   I dry hump my mattress because I love my bed so much.

   I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together.

   Dear Bed, I love you.

   If you say the word "douche" fast and repetitively, it will sound like the beat of a techno song that some douche would definitely love.

   Dance like the photo's not being tagged, Love like you've never been unfriended, Status Update like nobody's following.

   I triple-majored in college to give myself a range of options to explore and find career I'd love. Three working years later, I've narrowed down the options significantly: anything not involving those majors.

   I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop.

   Don't you just love how all the Casino billboards get you excited to spend your money then at the bottom of them all they give you the gambler's addiction #... Thats like me putting up a Billboard for a Heroin Party n giving you the # to the cops...

   relationship status will changed from "married" to " It's complicated " about once a month.. I love my wife....

   I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."

   i love it when some little 8 year-old is cursing and yelling at me on call of duty and then his mom is in the backgorund telling him to go to bed.

   The difference between "like" "love" and "in love" is the same as the difference between "for now" "for a while" and "forever."

   "AND HE WAS JUST A HAIR AWAY FROM GETTING THE SACK!" I love football.

   When love is not madness... it is not love.

   If god is a dj, life is a dancefloor, love is a rhythm, you are the music, you get what you are given it's all how you use it and god wants you to shake your ass!

   I want to make sweet love to your face with my fist. Don't worry, I'll use protection. Wouldn't want my hand to get hurt.

   ...U.S. combat in Iraq officially over. I love Pres. Obama! He's the ONLY black guy I know who's kept his withdrawal promise!