Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Facebook stalking should be classified as a hobby
←Rate | 10-07-2011 08:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There comes a time when you just look at yourself in the mirror, and say" f**k it, this is as good as it's gonna get."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to tell if someone's short email means they're mad or just busy. I always reply, "Thanks, C***face!" just in case.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 10:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon my idea of a drinking problem is not having any booze to drink.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever wake up in a room with a bunch of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello, I want to play a game", I'm gonna be pissed!!!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 14:49 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fake: it's the latest trend, and everyone seems to be in style.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 13:51 by bijoux Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate running out of deodorant......with 1 armpit left to go
←Rate | 07-05-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't get fired, I just got demoted to customer.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 03:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're adults? When did that happen and how do we make it stop?
←Rate | 01-05-2013 11:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you have problems when you mentally click a "like" button every time you see something that pleases you..
←Rate | 01-16-2013 14:08 by Mike askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings must be a 49er fan!! They have added a power button right beside the sprinkler system!!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:02 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather drown going against the current than glide along a journey I don't believe in.
←Rate | 09-18-2012 04:37 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You may have written me off, but I'll never be erased.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 07:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turn every sexual experience into a love try angle.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on facebook and get comments.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 00:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't lie. I only started drinking coffee after I got too old for cocaine.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My online password is now strong enough for their website. But now it's too complicated for me.
←Rate | 08-06-2012 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear people who like temperatures in the 90s don't actually work for a living.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 02:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Creating unnecessary drama is a tool of the ignorant.
←Rate | 07-05-2013 12:46 Comments (0)  




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