love Funny Status Messages

   Love Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exit through an ENTER door!! What are we all on DRUGS??

   Women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from ...

   There's no way I could possibly be lactose intolerrant!! I love B( o )( o )BS!!!

   I love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but now I also know that my sister has a great ass.

   3 words, 8 letters. 3 syllables, 5 vowels, 3 consonants, 2 nouns, one emotion, many meanings, a big lie, a rare truth: I LOVE YOU!

   making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.

   I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."

   "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"

   you're an overweight female who wears Yoga Pants everyday? Please continue to do so, I love throwing up in my mouth

   Maybe NYPD can use their new found love for back turning, the next time they see a dark skin person doing nothing wrong.

   If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, start dating her best friend.

   wonders if cupid has a job opening??? I would love to shoot people in the a** and get away with it!!!

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   Same old same old __ I frikkin' love weekends :D __ you're welcome!!!

   I Like my Job on my day's off, I LOVE my job on paydays!

   No I do not want to watch your sister's wrestling match, but I'd love to see her box.

   I'm not h0m0ph0bic, I love my house!

   The minute people fall in love they become liars

   I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her

   ♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥