life Funny Status Messages

   Did you ever think that maybe there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking?

   people are always asking whats the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!

   Life's like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you have to stick your finger in a few before you find the one that's right for you....

   I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!

   When your boss asks why you’re late. Just shrug and say “thug life.” Bosses don’t mess with thug life.

   $15 minimum wage, I don't think so. Maybe we should focus on lowering the cost of an education instead. That way it rewards those that are willing to work for a better life.

   Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

   U.S. television game show host Alex Trebek is recovering from a mild heart attack he suffered on Saturday, but not worry his life is not in Jeopardy.

   Before Facebook I used to have a life. Now I can't even remember the name of my two... no wait, sorry, three kids.

   They say getting over someone is directly proportional to how much they meant to you. That was the hardest 15 minutes of my life.

   I think for just about everybody, at some point in your life, there's one teacher you had a secret crush on. For me, it's my wife's aerobic teacher.

   the best part of not having a life...is not having to worry about a mid-life crisis

   Thinks there should be a sarcasm font....would make FB life so much easier.....

   One of my greatest joys in life is when I've found an old friend on facebook......And they've gotten fat!! lol #iwentthere

   Life is like a pen!s. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard.

   If you don't make time for those in your life that are important, then don't be surprised when one day they stop making time for you.....

   You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

   According to my horoscope, I'm going to get rich today. According to my Youtube comments, I'm a "douche." Life is confusing.

   "He died doing what he loved, which was clinging to life and trying not to die, which he was very good at until recently."

   My life's one long beer commercial.