life Funny Status Messages

   Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.

   Life's a piano and I'm playing it wearing boxing gloves.

   I'm looking forward to seeing my life flash before my eyes when I die. If only to know what I did in the 90s.

   What if , one day you randomly wake up as a baby and realize that you're whole life was just a dream.

   Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life's problems

   The best things in life are free...............So how many kittens do you want?

   If Facebook and porn were made illegal, it would free up a good 10 hours of my life every day

   Funny how people who keep saying "I'm always there for you" are usually the ones responsible for your miserable life.

   I love how the best things in life are unexpected

   Weirdos seem to be drawn to me and if I let my guard down for just a moment, I get stuck with some idiot telling me their life story.

   Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.

   The biggest mistake of my life is that I said yes, when I meant to say no.

   Friends who buy you food are friends for life.!!

   True crime was invented to remind people that life could be worse

   Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

   Me: I wish my life were more exciting Alcohol: Have another drink and call your ex

   Welcome to High School. Pick 2- Good Grades, Enough Sleep, or a Social Life

   Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches/psychics.

   Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway.

   Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway