onecuwldood Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why are they calling the music I grew up on "Classic Rock"? I'm not that old...am I?
←Rate | 09-12-2010 01:15 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:18 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
←Rate | 02-02-2012 07:07 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think of it as a mess... I just think it's nice having everything I own in plain sight and within easy reach at all times!
←Rate | 03-18-2010 21:02 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon To those who do not believe that war is the answer... Please enjoy your "Independence Day". Heck enjoy the whole weekend.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 16:46 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear glasses because I like to dramatically remove them to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lens...
←Rate | 03-01-2012 17:25 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend is having sex with his GF and her twin, asked how he tells them apart, he said her brother has a mustache!
←Rate | 02-24-2011 16:35 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, so they have GPS that can navigate you all the way across the country...why can't someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
←Rate | 06-11-2011 15:37 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure it's flattering and weird at the same time, but you need to stop thinking of me when you masturbate...
←Rate | 05-06-2010 11:01 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."
←Rate | 03-10-2011 22:23 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to sublease his FB wall. He's still trying to find a way to make money here.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 06:53 by Onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:08 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never kills anybody who supervises it.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:44 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Red wine goes with meatloaf, right?
←Rate | 05-14-2012 19:32 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
←Rate | 07-08-2011 00:30 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."
←Rate | 08-13-2011 22:15 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's official, I'm not gonna remember unless there's a Facebook event for it...
←Rate | 02-26-2012 01:44 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok let me see if I have this straight. When counting calories, if you forget to write them down, you don't have to count them, right?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 17:29 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up with several traffic signs and safety cones in my bedroom... What did I do last night?
←Rate | 12-11-2011 09:26 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 11:13 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  



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