life Funny Status Messages

   - you know life is hard when gas prices are higher than your GPA!!

   If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it.

   Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.

   Dear Santa, Last year I asked for and received your list of naughty girls, It was fun but I think I am past that point in my life. This year I would like to receive your list of good girls with naughty tendencies!

   Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn't want to talk too.

   Remember when there was nothing to check and no device to check it on and all you did was live your life?

   The best things in life are free……for the first 90 days.

   It's the little things that make life so beautiful, like when a baby steps on a cat and they both go apesh!t

   Not every relationship is to learn a life lesson. Sometimes it's for a new steak marinade, unsafe sexual position or where not to vacation.

   Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they're paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is.

   There's too much emphasis put on winning in life. I'm just trying for a participation ribbon.

   Using a very sophisticated algorithm, I have determined that the taxes that were deducted on my Oct 22 paycheck were used to purchase the bullet used to end Osama's life. You may thank me now, or just send money in lieu of a thank you.

   Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.

   If people winked in real life as much as they wink in texts, the world would be an extremely creepy place.

   Always take life with a grain of salt... Plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

   Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.

   Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

   Capital punishment shouldn't even be a debate. You deserve to be put to death if you take a life.

   My girlfriend asked me what I would do if she were to die. I told her I'd probably do 25 to life.