manbearpig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Did I already post my Alzheimer's joke?
←Rate | 10-07-2010 05:57 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...it's not you, it's me. I don't like you
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:45 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon blocked you from my news feed. I don't care how many mobsters you've iced, that you found a pink sheep on your farm, or that you've redecorated your virtual apartment.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 04:08 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's been exactly a year since I quit drinking. And 364 days since I started again.
←Rate | 03-28-2011 03:29 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon People keep telling me the right man will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.
←Rate | 09-10-2010 04:04 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks there should be a Facebook button that says "I liked your status until every man and his dog decided to comment on it".
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:39 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:03 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come when you open a can of evaporated milk, it's still there?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 00:58 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon just stole this status from someone who stole it from someone else.
←Rate | 08-13-2010 00:18 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor asked me if I drank to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 05:57 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 01:03 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon fed up with all the emails I keep getting on how to enlarge my penis, particularly since I'm a woman...so I've forwarded them to my ex.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:43 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:02 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon always wanted to be somebody. Now she realises that she should have been more specific.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:41 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon feeling politely confrontational this evening. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:42 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:38 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon kinda likes ceilings. Maybe I'll become a fan.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 00:56 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks if you have a chip on your shoulder, you're missing your mouth.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:43 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man walks into a library and says, "I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology".
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:03 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon not remotely sober. Nor am I sober up close.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:42 by manbearpig Comments (0)  



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