Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   a womans mind is like a baby's diaper...gets changed many times throughout the day

   just read that A.C. Nielsen Jr., pioneer of TV ratings firm, died yesterday as well, but due to news of Steve Jobs it was overlooked and Mr. Nielsen only received an 8.5 rating.

   well at least Quikflix lived up to its name.

   Not sure if girl is posting song lyrics.....or about to kill herself -__-

   Just finished some great games of racquetball. What a great way to relieve stress and lower your blood pressure, almost as good as ...................... but not quite!

   Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao

   Does this Senate Bill 5 have anything to do with a foot long sub?

   I heard smartphones play chess, but I've been at this table all day and dude won't even move his pawns.

   *scratching neck and chin..."I gotta tell you something Joe Rogan....I take Charlie Sheen"

   You see a big brown van blocking you in a parking space......I see logistics!!

   I think this year for Madden '12 they should add a feature for the "lock out". You can be owners and players arguing over millions and billions of dollars, charge hundreds of dollars for tickets, work about 5 months out of the year and never have to worry

   How good something is has no bearing on how popular it will become.

   I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out....

   If you ever see me in person, don't poke me. In real life I loathe when folks do that. Unless you give me the numbers and expiration date first on your card and you show me 2 ID's.

   Unless you're in a resturant and you know the person has already eaten it's not a good thing to see someone walk out a restroom useing a toothpick.

   It's sad this past week's earthquake is the most movement we have seen coming from Congress in sometime now.

   It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......

   Getting mad at people because you did something stupid only makes you an angry stupid fool.

   Homeland security says the informat they have is a good source. Sounds to me the source may be part of the problem.

   I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...