Omen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon OLYMPIC GYMNAST 2012: Jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background. ME: I fall on face as I try putting socks
←Rate | 08-02-2012 17:58 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon WELL THE YARD SALE WENT WELL ......$27,000 DOLLARS .......WE WILL BE OFF TO MIAMI FOR A FEW DAYS .....I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE WHEN THE NEIGHBORS NOTCE THEIR BARBEQUE GRILLS, PATIO FURNITURE AND POTTED PLANTS ARE MISSING ..... TA TA !!!!!
←Rate | 09-28-2011 15:28 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay all of Facebook, here goes the beginning of two more days about who died in Hollywood. Yes, we all want to know, everyone at once. BEGIN!
←Rate | 04-22-2012 01:27 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes your girlfriend is beautiful and I totally dig that you guys just met, BUT, He is my neighbor and works in a drag club.
←Rate | 05-15-2011 14:56 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does FB show me people I "may" know, LAWD these are ugly people, stop it!
←Rate | 10-01-2013 11:12 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever see me in person, don't poke me. In real life I loathe when folks do that. Unless you give me the numbers and expiration date first on your card and you show me 2 ID's.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 18:48 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook must be prepping for upgrade, the new one will suck you in faster than a Hoover vac held by a prisoner who hasn't seen a woman in 20 years!
←Rate | 10-21-2013 11:29 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bless me father for I have sinned, my last confession was over 3 years- oh damn the roof is caving in HELLLPPPPP!"
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:35 by Omen Comments (0)  


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