YODA Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny
←Rate | 01-27-2013 15:21 by Yoda Comments (0)  


   messageicon The mega winner says she picked the numbers by her kids birthdays… Please tell me what month has 39 days
←Rate | 12-19-2013 09:32 by Yoda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I hang up on people in the middle of my own sentance so they think I lost service...
←Rate | 01-13-2013 16:24 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not part of the solution, you may be part of the team I work for...
←Rate | 11-27-2013 08:09 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
←Rate | 09-22-2013 05:39 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many things can be preserved in alcohol, dignity is not one of them...
←Rate | 03-05-2013 06:36 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Halloween... may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong! ;-)
←Rate | 10-30-2013 20:37 by Yoda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some play hard to get, I play hard to want
←Rate | 11-14-2013 21:08 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
←Rate | 11-14-2013 09:08 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing makes you a hypocrite like becoming a parent...
←Rate | 04-15-2013 10:17 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's yoga position is called "the underpaid employee"... It involves bending over and kissing ass at the same time.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 01:23 by Yoda Comments (0)  


   messageicon it considered child labor if they think they are playing a game?
←Rate | 01-13-2013 16:26 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love tan lines... it's like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
←Rate | 03-26-2013 17:42 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body....
←Rate | 01-06-2014 07:59 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Allergy season must be near... blooming idiots are everywhere
←Rate | 01-15-2013 06:18 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
←Rate | 09-24-2013 11:11 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving may be the only time some people in California see real breasts
←Rate | 11-24-2013 04:30 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
←Rate | 11-29-2013 08:44 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut
←Rate | 01-28-2013 09:30 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon t amazes me that Playboy have explored the idea of making pop-up books yet.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 21:12 by YODA Comments (0)  



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