life Funny Status Messages

   If Facebook has proved ANYTHING, it's that the love of your life is someone you've never actually met.

   Pro Gun, Pro Gun Control, Pro Life, Pro Choice, Pro This, Pro That, ....How about Pro Common Sense?

   Sometimes I spice up my love life by getting my girlfriend to wear a long black nightgown with buttons on it. Makes her look just like a remote control.

   Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.

   I'm no relationship scientist but I think men prefer girls who make their dck hard, not their life.

   Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience.

   Wouldn't it stink if there were thousands of other planets that had life, and we on Earth were the ONLY ones who didn't know? And we were the butt of aliens' jokes, i.e. "You're stupid as an Earthling."

   Life is all about deciding how much crazy you can live with.

   If it weren't for marriage, many of us would go thru life thinking we had no faults at all.

   I live by my father's motto: "Life is a football game. Try to fall asleep in the first quarter and complain if anyone shuts off the TV."

   my life coach told me to just let the clock run out!

   Everyone has that one special person in their life who keeps them looking forward to another day. If you don't then maybe that special person is yourself.

   one of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

   I just don't get you people who prefer the cold over the heat. The best times of my life are spent being hot, sweaty, and naked. Not cold, shivering, and bundled up.

   its better to loved and lost then to live with the psycho for the rest of your life.

   Tired of everyone taunting and cursing you? Do you feel, no one cares about you anymore? Pressure at work? Feel like running away from this boring life?Fly Malaysian Airlines ✈.. And GET LOST..✈

   No matter how bad life seems, just remember,,, You can order live bees on the internet.

   Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.

   So if a cow dies of old age after a long and happy life, vegetarians are allowed to eat it, right?

   Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too.