life Funny Status Messages

   Why the f*ck does toothpaste fall so easily off your tooth-brush, but the second it hits the sink it turns into some apoxy resin type bullsh!t and you can't wash it down the drain to save your life?! Grr.

   Unless life hands you water and sugar.. Your lemonade is gonna suck...

   Life is too complicated in the morning.

   As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison

   Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't have to match and boys had cooties.!!!!

   Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.

   I've disappointed a lot of people in my life, you're not special.

   My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.

   My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.

   If you think your life can't get any worse, just remember...you could be Mike Tyson in a Chinese restaurant trying to order the Sweet and Sour Shrimp.

   contemplating the mysteries of universe, like the meaning of life, the workings of time, and whether of not Wang Chung was demanding or requesting that "Everybody Wang Chung tonight." The world may never know.

   I got enough crap in my life at the moment sorry I cant fit you in!

   If life were more like a movie, we'd all be dead after about 90 minutes.

   I feel like life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

   i feel bad when I see strangers with their zipper down I want to tell them but I feel I would be inviting danger into my life

   Life without friends is like boobs without nipples( )( ), just pointless!

   There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends.. Good job.. Good food.. Good sleep..&"GOOD _UCK" whatever you are thinking. That's right! :D

   I do have a life outside of Facebook, but I don't remember the password for it.

   When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.

   Life sucks... Wife won't......