Fazzella Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't understand why people have to say hurtful things. Like "let's go to the gym" or " try this kale"
←Rate | 05-21-2016 13:25 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course; He'll shut up once you let him in.
←Rate | 07-25-2016 16:10 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon In celebration of Earth Day, I went outside and stared at the ground for a little while.
←Rate | 04-22-2016 09:43 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyway, I didn't see a debate. I saw two grumpy old married people arguing at Wal Mart.
←Rate | 09-29-2016 11:21 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Memorial Day Tip: This year, throw veggie burgers on the grill and next year, someone else will host the cookout.
←Rate | 05-21-2016 12:07 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think your life can't get any worse, just remember...you could be Mike Tyson in a Chinese restaurant trying to order the Sweet and Sour Shrimp.
←Rate | 10-28-2016 09:31 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon The election in a nutshell: We let the p*ssies play pin the tail on the donkey for a while, then shut the party down.
←Rate | 11-17-2016 10:04 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 14:27 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media is a cruel and shallow disingenuous trench, a long cyber hallway where lies and anger run free, and good people are treated like dogs. There's also a negative side.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 10:15 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo: The Feast of the 5 Mayonnaises: Hellmann's-Kraft-Duke's-Blue Plate and Miracle Whip
←Rate | 05-04-2016 09:12 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon No need to build a wall. Just have Rosie O'Donnell lay down on the Mexican/American border.
←Rate | 11-16-2016 09:25 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems Michael Moore attained, at least partially, one of the two things he desperately needs, which is humility. We can only hope the other will soon be forthcoming....a bath.
←Rate | 11-11-2016 13:34 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some woman just gave me a hard time for smoking my whole life. She said if I didn't smoke, I could afford a Maserati. I asked her if she ever smoked and she said, "Never." I go, "Where's your Maserati?"
←Rate | 08-04-2016 12:38 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Bucket: It's about time, Wilder. Now do I get the factory?
←Rate | 08-30-2016 14:19 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Hillary's VP plays harmonica. That's all we need. More blowing in the Oval Office.
←Rate | 07-29-2016 09:31 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is the tornado. And Hillary is the trailer park.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 17:09 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Hillary! Are there any remaining campaign funds to make a trip to a microphone and ask your supporters to chill out?
←Rate | 11-10-2016 13:59 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP: The artist formerly known as Alive.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 13:34 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
←Rate | 11-29-2016 15:23 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not exactly sure what went down last night. But I woke up in my bed partially clothed, and found business cards in my pocket from a lawyer, a chirpractor, and the Shriners Women's Auxiliary.
←Rate | 05-07-2016 15:47 by Fazzella Comments (0)  



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