life Funny Status Messages

   Fact: you spend an average of 1.3 hrs of your life in the pantry looking for the damn paprika

   The only life secret I’m not telling my children when they move out is the address to my new home

   RIP Hugh Hefner. A remarkable life. Fans of his work are now doing something they’re quite accustomed to - grabbing a tissue.

   I try to live an #adventurous life but its hard to do it with $17 disposable #income a week.

   Please don't say piracy is a victimless crime... Escape Plan 2 is 1h 45m of my life I will never get back again

   there are two words in life that will open many doors for you: pull and push.

   For Halloween I'm going to write "Life" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

   death gotta be easy cause life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred

   Have you ever read a book or watched a film that touched your soul so deeply it changed your entire outlook on life? I just took a dump like that….

   If you keep walking backwards, you will eventually fall over the hurdles you have already crossed in your life.

   MIA No name, talent-less, trashy, low life, that can't sing will make millions by giving everyone the bird. What a low class piece of trash.

   The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.

   If you think this years elections were nasty think of the ones in thirty years when all of the candidates had a Facebook their entire life.

   Just got an extra quarter while getting my change from the soda machine. THUG LIFE.

   You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life.

   In life, there are three things you should not break: a heart, a promise, and a condom!

   I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course. I've never had to run so far in all my life!

   User "Anonymous" you are the most annoying person on earth. If there is anything wrong or negative to say to anything you are the man! Get a life or at least a job…

   If you're nice to an animal, it loves you for life. If you're nice to a woman, who the hell knows what's gonna happen.

   Don't be upset that you're single; be happy that someone isn't ruining your life.