life Funny Status Messages
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I lost my phone for an hour. The day I lost my 5 year-old neice at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life. 
's 2010 New Year's resolution is to re-enact the movie "The Hangover" in real life.
Life is a beach, I'm just playin' in the sand...
Everything happens for a reason... Just know that God places people in your life for a reason and will let you know what that reason is when it is time! ♥
The most impressive thing about Beyonce and Jay-Z as parents, is how dedicated they are to giving Blue Ivy® a normal life.
What's that thing that's like Photoshop except way easier to use and it's for real life? Oh yeah, vodka.
If you are arrogant enough to assume that I know what is going on in your life because I read every single one of your Facebook status updates, I probably hid you a long time ago.
Every minute of my life is a countdown to when I'll eat next.
Not now life... come back when I'm drunk.
You look like you would ruin my life. Let's have sex. -women
wonders.....have you ever had one of those days that all you can do is smile, sing, dance and and yell from from the mountain tops how good life is??? Well, today certainly wasn't one of those days for me....
One of the hardest things in life to learn, is which bridge to cross and which to burn.!!!
Life's a trip.....tie your shoes
Sending my regards to Seal. Hopefully, this won't scar him for life.
I'm at the Bill Murray decides to join the army point of my life.
C'mon Lotto! I just want to be rich enough for Morgan Freeman to follow me around and narrate my life in real time.
To any American who wants a better life, leave the country, denounce your US citizenship and come back as an illegal immigrant. . .
"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me." Mother Teresa
Life is like a roller coaster. You can either scream every time there is a bump or you can throw your hands up and enjoy the ride.
On the battlefield of life, my weapon of choice is intelligence. [Search Results] [View All Messages]
