Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Am I a good mother, Susan. Susan: My name is Amy.

   A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

   Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mother only carries one photo, because if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

   Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

   Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.

   Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.

   The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.

   My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”

   Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......

   Where would I be without my mother? Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger.

   I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.

   If your relationship fails, don't blame her. It takes two people to mess up a relationship. Blame her and her mother.

   This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.

   My mother-in-law came to visit, I asked, "How long are you going to stay?" She said, "As long as you want me to." I said, "You're not even going to stay for coffee?"

   I hope all you moms out there had a great Mother's Day! (If you're not a mom but would like to be, message me for details)

   It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.

   Ok honey don't freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes.

   To all the Mothers and Grandmothers out there, whether here on Earth or an Angel in Heaven: Thank you for teaching us all we know. Being a mother is not easy.

   Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement"

   My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."