life Funny Status Messages

   There’s “hell” in hello, “good” in goodbye, “lie” in believe, “over” in lover, “end” in friend, “ex” in “next”, & “if” in life.

   Stop focusing on the meaning of life and focus on finding a life with meaning.

   I would say at least 3% of my life has been spent talking to dogs that are in other people's cars.

   People who squirt Ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you want in your life.

   Life is a Kaleidoscope after few beers! *Sunday Closed*

   Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly.

   If you are a dog catcher and don't have a "pug life" tattoo you are doing the whole life thing wrong.

   The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.

   Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.

   I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It's fun."

   I bet the best day of a "fun" building inspector's life is when a tin roof is rusted

   A Mosquito landed on my friends face.. Easiest decision of my life..

   No matter how long you have been together, it's completely okay to walk out of someone's life if you just don't feel like you belong there anymore.

   So you go to college to get a job so you can have a job to pay for college. Then you spend all your time at work and end up with no time to live the life you're working for....Ok...interesting plan.

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without sex and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   Convicted Amy private Bradley Manning wants to live the rest of his life as a woman. At 5'2" and sporting that purdy little mouth, I doubt he's going to have a hard time being a woman while he's behind bars.

   When my girlfriend was paralysed after the accident she worried about the changes it would make to her life. My concern was how would she cope now that she was single....

   Michelangelo seems like a genius until you realize he spent hours of his life carving a dude's pubes out of marble.

   when life throws skittles at you and tells you to taste the rainbow, just throw m&ms back and say I'm not afraid.

   The church squeezes money out of the people by promising them happiness in the next life if they accept misery and exploitation this one.