life Funny Status Messages

   A fool spends his entire life denying that he is a fool. A wise man accepts and embraces that he is a fool.

   I hate cyclists. You're driving along enjoying life then BAM! you're stuck driving 10mph behind some jerk with way nicer calves than you

   For once in my life, I like to push a cart in Walmart, let it go and roll for at least two feet straight WITHOUT fu¢king turning left on its own.

   The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.

   Did you ever notice how everything in life just keeps shrinking? Even in the Hip-Hop world. It used to be 'Biggie Smalls, Big Pun, Fat Joe. Then it was lil jon, lil kim, liil wayne. 15yrs from now its gonig to be, 1PAC, BalemicBob, AtomMike, SpermSpewed!

   When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

   I'm just here because real life won't have me.

   Sears is no longer a store, it's a place to question the purpose and fate of life on earth

   Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life's problems

   Fellas; A girl without a hobby is a girl who will make a hobby of destroying your life.

   You call it the love of your life, I call it a bottle of liquor.

   I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.

   You say its none of your business how someone chose to live their life hey? So its cool with you if I just decide to walk around without pants in public?

   I couldn't handle life if I wasn't weird.

   Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take f*cking notes.

   If it wasn't for me, my life would be pretty awesome.

   I am in the best shape of my life! Thanks poverty.

   you know you gave up on life when you eat your breakfast, lunch and dinner from a "bacon bowl"

   There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.

   I don't know about you but I'm that guy who will strike up a conversation with you while waiting in a long line.Tell a joke to all the people standing there to change their day and mine also. I enjoy people..... and life is too short!