Jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dear Customer Service: When are all of your representatives NOT assisting other callers?
←Rate | 07-15-2012 17:21 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon IN OTHER NEWS: A picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone next to each other in the hospital bed, side by side for shoulder surgeries, was taken this week. Can you imagine listening and trying to understand that conversation?
←Rate | 02-12-2012 00:34 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon What doesnt kill you......seriously disappoints me!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 17:02 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
←Rate | 12-10-2013 14:37 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tips on How to fall down the stairs.....Step 1, then Step 2... Step 5 Step 9 Step 12 Finally the Floor
←Rate | 06-06-2016 00:39 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why must I prove I'm me, if I'm callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
←Rate | 07-09-2015 19:43 by Jitney Comments (2)  

   messageicon Women dont say sorry, when a guy is right they say.... "Whatever!"
←Rate | 11-09-2012 17:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 23:42 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon the only bad thing about having a great status comment....you dont get the credit...lol but you get the likes.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 16:18 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon FACT: Some people will steal your stuff and then help you look for it.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 18:19 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ok, screw it...I'm just gonna wait for the iPad 10 to come out. You know the clear one, has solar power, you can go deep sea-diving with it, and not to mention... using it as a bullet proof chest plate!
←Rate | 03-08-2012 02:25 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
←Rate | 01-22-2012 00:42 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds
←Rate | 09-07-2014 16:32 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kayne West....made a song about Gold Diggers and now wants to marry Kim kardashian
←Rate | 09-11-2012 10:12 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: The Last person just finished voting in Florida....
←Rate | 11-07-2012 00:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I tried cooking with wine tonight, after five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen
←Rate | 08-02-2012 01:33 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took them off. "Take off my shoes" I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties!" I took all them off. Then she looks at me n said, "I dont want to catch you wearin my things ever again!"
←Rate | 03-06-2012 16:33 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon We can bailout Big Banks, but we can save an American Iconic Twinkie factory from going out of business??? Priorities People!!!!
←Rate | 01-25-2012 17:40 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Need to stop drinking this....its like 50 million Beyonces on the stage all of a sudden......
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:19 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being single sucks.....especially when all 3 of your roommates date moaners...
←Rate | 01-08-2012 01:32 by jitney Comments (0)  

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