Funny Status Messages
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Everything is made in China except for babies... they're made in VaChina. 
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
thinking between the death of Osama bin Laden and the marriage of Kate Middleton and Prince William it's an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business!!!!
noticed that on the same night Obama was ordering the Navy to kill bin laden, his potential opponent in 2012, Donald Trump, was busy firing Playmate of the Month Hope Dworaczyk........
apparently on NBC, first word of bin Laden's death pre-empted the final few minutes of Sunday's East Coast airing of the Trump-hosted reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. "This begs the question: How do we kill bin Laden again NEXT Sunday?"
Marc Savard, Sidney Crosby and now Osama Bin Laden when are these head shots going to end?!
According to ABC news the mission to assassinate Osama Bin Laden was carried out by a unit so secret their existence cannot be verified....THE A-TEAM IS BACK!
I think Osama will be the next Megatron
Enjoying a new drink called the bin laden. 2 shots and a splash of water
Damn Osama! First the Seals..........now the sharks!
I really hope Osama didnt have a twin brother! ......#worried
looks like Bin Laden's episode of Cribs didn't go that well
I just read where the SEAL team that popped Bin Laden was based in Virginia Beach. So his big surprise at the end wasn't 72 virgins, it was 24 Virginians. Adios you ahole. Tell Saddan we send our regards and save a spot at the table for Gaddafi.
Wow, I bet Bin Laden wishes he never completed his Census Form....
Best part about the death of bin Laden... It got the media to shut up about the stupid Royal Wedding. 