Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one. Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

   Thank you hot syrupy flavor, every morning I wake to savor, I drink you with one eye sleepy that fact I can rhyme this early is kinda creepy

   Justin Bieber fathering a love child is hard to believe. Justin Bieber having a love child, now that I can believe.

   Some Leaders say: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." God says: "Bring me your problems, I AM your solution!"

   Judge William Adams I hope you go to Fedral Pound you in the Butt Prison

   "Nonexistent" is my new favorite word. It describes so many things about my life!

   Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned. It has been 6 hours since my last tweet, and in that time I had thoughts I didn't share.

   If it's consistency you're shooting for, it's pretty simple to disappoint all of the people all of the time.

   There's a good chance that any empty can you see rolling along the sidewalk is just Patrick Swayze's ghost learning how to move objects.

   I don't deal well with good-byes. I'm better with good-riddances.

   im hungry like a homeless fat guy that made his home out of wafflehouse menus...

   The worlds economy is in a terrible state, the Ice caps are melting, the Rain Forest is being destroyed and now apparently Justin Bieber has reproduced. Can things get any worse?

   Which is worse news this AM, Justin Beiber might have a love child or Herman Cain's believes China doesn't have nukes?

   I dont know what Is more amazing, that this girl thought she was Justin Beibers first, or the miracle of one girl knocking up another girl.

   Ever notice that those who have nothing on the inside, are the one's that are the most preoccupied with what is on the outside?

   No one ever explained the rules of Facebook poking. You can use it to poke a girl if you like her.. Or what if I poke another guy, it's like saying " hey homeboy , what's up?" hopefully he wouldn't it take it as a " hey homeboy, what's up buttercup :)"

   So I read 600,000 facebook accounts get hacked in a day... I must be lucky - I get a free ipad 2 just by entering my password and credit card information.

   The Muppets took over WWE last night. In other news, Dora the Explorer is refereeing MMA Octagon Thunderdown

   1-800-You~Wish.....To chat with hot, sexy girls in your area you'll never see or touch.

   I don't like black and white films, they remind me to much of news pappers.