Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Got into an argument with the ex-wife the other day over her boyfriend helping my son with his 1st grade reading assignment when he was visiting them. I told her I thought my sons reading assignment was beyond her boyfriends comprehension……………â

   Tomorrow you'll be able to stop hating people for their political views and go back to hating them for their personality!

   Yoga pants make things hard on me.

   If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now.

   After spending 45 minutes eavesdropping on a crazy girl giving advice to another crazy girl, I really don't know how we're not extinct yet.

   If I can still smell you on me in the morning, you did good.

   My brother just told me a vote for Romney is a vote for separation of church and state.

   I wish I would have never got that loan from western sky the Indian Loan company.! Aside from high interest I'm on some goofy mailing List I keep getting things for " new siding for your Teepee " or "feather's R Us" worst is the arrows when I miss a pymnt

   If you're not sweating, you're not doing it right

   Some family is never more than just blood.

   If your an undecided voter, just vote for the one you feel wouldn't mug you in a dark alley.

   Jokingly told this girl on our first date last night that I had a realy big D and she responded no problem i've had plenty of Big Ones before ! And now I'm sad ! :o( Fail

   China's "one-child per family" policy is being ended -- because not enough babies. Apparently it's so bad over there that some factories are actually hiring adults...

   what number do I text my ten votes to??

   Stop the world, I want to get off!

   Afroman was going to vote. But then he got high..

   Andy Reid said if Obama loses he can start next week against Dallas...

   exercising their right to vote is as close as most Americans get to exercising

   Go vote so I can hit your like button. I know you want me to hit your like button.

   It's just like American Idol... Vote early and vote often!!!