Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   That moment when the woman you're dancing behind suddenly bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring... and no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.

   I'm not an ad man but Tampax's slogan should be "we're not #1, but we are right up there."

   If it wasn't for Als ice bucket challenge most americans wouldn't get to shower

   So, the prisoner exchange for Sgt. Bergdahl was illegal. I guess we are going to have to send him back.

   All the water "wasted" in the Ice Bucket Challenges would not be enough to help Third World countries. It's just a drop in the ocean.

   Our Government will swap 5 known terrorists for a deserter, yet won’t lift a hand to save an American civilian.

   I never smile in public. Smiles invite people to talk.

   Before you begin, I’m legally obligated to tell you I don’t care.

   I wish someone would post an "Ice bucket challenge" video

   I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.

   Next up, The Jump off a Bridge Challenge...

   This ice water challenge for ALS is over rated.. I did it to the wife while she was sleeping. Now she has Tourettes Syndrome.

   Need help drafting a weed smoking NFL fantasy team. That way they won't miss any games due to suspensions...

   patiently waiting for the "No-Bra" Ice bucket challenge

   My father dies from ALS, get off the subject and start writing funny stuff...

   You can now buy booze at Starbucks. So apparently my letter-writing campaign paid off.

   I now nominate all of you for the ALS ice pick to the head challenge.

   Facts never seem to matter to a lynch mob.

   While the folks in Ferguson are busy protesting, Mexicans are taking their jobs...

   From 8am until 11:59 a.m,,,, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch