life Funny Status Messages

   Won't go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for "spider life span" reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.

   has performed extensive experiments in the shed and can scientifically conclude that a cat has only one life.

   As time passes you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Love what you've got. And remember what you had. People change, things go wrong but life goes on

   You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

   BP says it will emerge from the current situation "smaller and wiser." I assume sea life will emerge "shinier and more waterproof."

   I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

   Life lesson....never put Preparation H next to the toothpaste in the morning.....YUCK!

   I might not have all the best things in life, but I always make the best of the things I do have.

   If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

   Ever see a flower poking up through a crack in the sidewalk? The crack represents the troubles in your life, the flower is the possibilities.

   cop pulled me over and was out of tickets, happiest day in my life

   The trouble with life is there's no background music

   I propose that Jesus must have been a Zombie. Lets look at the facts: He came back from the dead, He wants you drink his blood and also eat his flesh so that you have ever lasting life. Or maybe... a vampire-zombie? Hmm... futher study is needed.

   Life has no damn remote....get up and change it yourself!

   You've been backstabbed, rejected, unwanted, abandoned, betrayed, tricked, lied to, ridiculed, cheated on, heartbroken, defeated, and said NO to all your life...Did it kill you? Of course not...just made you stronger. USE IT.

   Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.

   If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"

   Just because you don't approve of the way I live my life, it does not make me wrong, it only makes you judgemental.

   If I got poked in real life as much as I get poked on Facebook, I'd be one happy woman and would never leave my room!!

   life has no remote.change it yourself