Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray.

   If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.

   I'm more confused than Ricky Martin's kids on mother's day.

   The silence that occurs when I'm waiting for my little sister outside the playground, and a mother asks me "What child?" and I answer, "I have not decided yet ..."

   When I date single moms, I tell the kids "I'm not trying to fill the hole left by your father; just the ones inside your mother."

   Stranger things have happened. Remember how Mary, Jesus's mother got pregnant without sex??

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..

   Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   No, but I do kiss YOUR mother with this mouth.

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   Any Woman that keeps her Kid from they Father is a Dead Beat mother too!!!

   I'm taking my kids to see their mother today. Actually, we're going to feed some ducks but I'm sure her rotting body is still in that pond.

   "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"

   Horror movies don't scare me. Five missed calls from my mother scares me.

   Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   My nickname for my mother was Hannibal Lecture.

   It would be funny if in the last episode of How I Met Your Mother, Old Ted tells his kids "I'm just kidding, I never met your mother. You're adopted.

   These teens moms, calling themselves a mother because they gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.