life Funny Status Messages

   If you watched a movie of my life backwards it'd be about a guy who refills vodka bottles and puts them back on the self.

   Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life. That has to be most delicious form of suicide I have ever heard.

   Does anyone know where I can get a new lease on life? The one I have isn't working out.

   Help! I'm an heiress trapped in the life of a peasant.

   Look at the risks men take when they meet a woman, if they are lucky...they get screwed otherwise they get screwed for life;)

   Scientists plan to clone a woolly mammoth and bring the prehistoric creature back to life. I sure don't see what could go wrong there.

   Life's like a box of chocolate, it doesn't last very long for fat people.

   People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life.

   Not everyone that comes into your life needs to stay there.

   toooo many Debbie Downers on facebook...wah, my life sucks, wah, my husband died ,wah, I burned dinner...

   When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That'd be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.

   ...If you look at LIFE like a piano - where the white keys represent happiness & the black keys represent sadness.. As life goes on, you realize the black keys make the music too...(",)

   Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 7 minutes off of your life. That has to be most delicious form of suicide.

   the four leaf clover in a field of life.

   If life gives you sh!t, proudly take it and fertelize your hopes and dreams.

   swears that about a third of my life is spent trying to remember why I have entered a room.

   Bobby Brown has a movie deal and a book about his life called "Higher than a muthafker".

   Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life? Well then by MY calculations,, I died in 1853

   I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.

   If you are arrogant enough to assume that I know what is going on in your life because I read every single one of your Facebook status updates, I probably hid you a long time ago.