love Funny Status Messages

   I asked my Heart why can't I sleep at night? IT replied: Cos you already slept your arse off at work. . Don't act like you're in Love jackasss. . :|

   just got my girlfriend her valentines day gift.. shes gonna love her "tube of boob lube"

   if love is blind, then letting go is like taking off the blindfold.

   Things you don't wanna hear after saying "I love you" to someone .... "Thank you" ... "I know you do" ... "I think we should just be friends" ... "I'm married" ... "Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my bed? How the f*ck did you get in my house?!

   "Hi" "Hi" "Did you eat?" "Did you eat?" "Are you copying me?" "Are you copying me?" "I love you!" "Yeah, I ate already.."

   Valentines Day is so fake. If you love a girl you'll treat her special every day. Not once out of 365 days!

   MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U

   i can show my love to her everyday <3 valentines day is just another day :-)

   All of a sudden I love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

   There are two things a man can never hide: 1. When he`s drunk, and 2. and when he's in love...

   I LOVE rumors! they tell me things about myself that I never even knew!

   I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as good as nature did.

   Teacher: If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him, what virtue will I be showing? Student: Brotherly love!

   People who say, “I am a lover NOT a fighter” are full of bullsh!t. If you love something, you WILL fight for it.

   I think your first love holds the biggest piece of your heart because they made the first cut.

   The only "b" word you should call a girl is beautiful. B**ches love to be called beautiful.

   Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M&M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages.

   RELATIONSHIP TIP: You have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. Becoming happy with who you are and acknowledging your flaws.

   The only person I'd ever take love advice from is that French candlestick from Beauty and the Beast.

   If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it.