nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.

   A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to bang someone who is.

   You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.

   ‎"You see football takes concentration and skill....SQUIRREL!!!!" - Wade Phillips/NFL Head Coach

   So I was wondering. If I paid to go watch a football game and suddenly in the middle of the game all the christian players get raptured up into heaven, do I get a refund???

   And on the final day God said ..." Let there be football!"

   Payroll for 53 over-hyped players: $168 Million, Big a$$ stadium: $1.6 Billion, Getting the Superbowl to that stadium: $100 million Everybody knowing that you spent all that money and your team STILL sucks: Priceless : D

   lets turn the NFL into touch football

   The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.

   hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.

   Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.

   BEFORE MARRIAGE: Saturday Night Fever AFTER: Monday Night Football

   Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...

   hears there may not be any football in 2011, and would like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for preparing us with no football in 2010.

   Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.

   can't wait for Thanksgiving!! No, not because of the meal and football games. Just found out I don't have to sit at "The Kids Table" again this year!!!!

   I've just been given a six month suspension from football. I caught an opponent with a tackle and broke both his legs... I admit the tackle was a bit late, he was getting into his car at the time.

   Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, there is Sit on My Ass and Watch Football Sunday!

   Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

   Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets