JW Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon NBA All Star Game: Fergie sang that National Anthem so bad, Collin Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the Anthem like that.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 21:46 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not antisocial, I just choose to not be social around assholes...
←Rate | 01-11-2013 08:34 by jw Comments (0)  

   messageicon The line was a little long at my pharmacy so I grabbed my cell phone and pretended to call someone. The line emptied quickly when I described my contagious rash and the fact that no doctor had found a medicine that would cure it yet. Good times.
←Rate | 09-14-2015 17:16 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who say I am hard to shop for evidently don't know where to buy beer.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:49 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon if it weren't for the presents and money think about how terrifying it would be to our children that a fat man, a fairy and a giant rabbit break into their houses every year...
←Rate | 12-03-2009 15:27 by jw Comments (0)  

   messageicon I misunderstood the nighborhood MILF when she told me she was heading to the polls. I didn't see her grinding at the strip club.
←Rate | 11-06-2018 14:04 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎"You see football takes concentration and skill....SQUIRREL!!!!" - Wade Phillips/NFL Head Coach
←Rate | 09-20-2010 11:50 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pulling out of Paris should be a porn, not a reality
←Rate | 06-02-2017 10:44 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so good at sleep, I can do it with my eyes closed...
←Rate | 01-11-2013 10:00 by jw Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't think allowing the mentally I'll people to obtain guns is making America great. Now I don't feel safe anymore.
←Rate | 02-03-2017 11:34 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon about to beat my di@# like it owes me money.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 23:41 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Beyonce has more African American people in her belly than Trump has in his cabinet.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 17:47 by JW Comments (1)  

   messageicon Trump really trying to take credit for Obama's 227,000 added jobs in January? Smh.....
←Rate | 02-05-2017 09:16 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nickelback-Flash…..Why would Tiger Woods risk being seen at a Nickelback concert?......then again why would any guy risk being seen at a Nickelback concert?
←Rate | 04-21-2010 16:45 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife is mad at me because I dropped a channel in protest of the NFL. Oh I’m keeping red zone I dropped QVC
←Rate | 10-01-2017 14:22 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon your "sofa king we todd did"
←Rate | 11-12-2009 19:34 by JW Comments (0)  


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