Monday Funny Status Messages

   Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I'm assuming it's Monday.

   I finally got a new prophetic leg... I'm starting physical therapy on Monday.... Also Courteney Cox dies while parasailing next May...

   So, Los Angeles wants Meatless Monday... and probably followed by Tater Tot Tuesday and Weinerless Wednesday...

   We need to come up with a medical term for that feeling that you get on a Sunday night, knowing that you'll be back at work for another week come Monday morning. And quickly, because I need to phone in sick for tomorrow.

   I kinda wish I was sober enough to remember what really happened. One moment we was having fun, the next thing I knew, its Monday and I'm getting emails..... R.I.P - Saturday & Sunday

   It's Cyber Sex Monday :)

   Just finished writing "Cyber Monday does NOT mean what I thought it meant" 100,000x Can I go home now Sister Rose?

   I guess "Cyber Monday" is NOT what I thought it was. Just got served with 3 restraining orders. :(

   How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??

   Looking on the bright side, if the Mayans are right, this is the last Monday we'll ever have to deal with.

   24 hours in a day... Except on Monday. That b*tch has at least 50.

   Waking up to Monday is kinda like the Mayans being right.

   Plan for tonight: 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2. figure the rest out later

   believing Monday will be great is half the bottle...

   The search for Friday night is followed much too quickly by the discovery of Monday morning.

   Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a btich! We've been lookin for you since Monday!

   so ready for that all important holiday coming up, don't forget monday is the presidents day mattress sale

   Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

   Got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I'm gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist and a priest.

   it me, or Monday comes around and your sleepy throughout most of the workday, but after what feels like 5-hours in rushhour traffic, you have enough energy for a Party with free drinks?