Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 364 of 6384
Every guy thinks catching the girl he loves is an amazing accomplishment. Actually, catching the girl is the easy part, keeping her is the real damn accomplishment.
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11-03-2010 22:59 by BEGO
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they say good things come to those who wait, so I'm gonna be about an hour late
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11-16-2010 15:01
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I don't know about you, but somehow I feel slightly disturbed watching the trailer for the new Karate Kid. Seeing Jackie Chan beat up a bunch of ten years olds somehow makes me feel like I should call somebody or something.
Highlighter pens are the future. Mark my words
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04-12-2010 19:24
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Dear news people, stop trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull, you are all sounding like idiots, just call it The Volcano, is way easier...
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04-19-2010 09:32
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Why do people insist on speaking to me? It pretty much never goes well.
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05-10-2010 14:06 by Joser
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I truly wonder how much better life would be if people were required to fill out a CAPTCHA before breeding.
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06-01-2010 13:32 by Joser
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When you were a kid, your biggest decision was "Duck Hunt or Mario Bros."
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06-01-2010 22:32 by Joser
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It'll be a while before hearing a commentator say: "Tiger Woods struggles to come from behind" doesn't make me giggle.
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06-21-2010 12:33 by Leeferd
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thankful for my mistakes for they have been my greatest teachers.
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12-15-2009 17:31 by Igor
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why does it seem like Toys 'R Us just threw up in my living room???
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12-28-2009 20:16 by GeoffreyB
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annoyed that these guys like Clooney, Cruise, and DeNiro are all picking me as their celebrity look-alike. Get a life losers.
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01-30-2010 14:16 by jake
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I order the club sandwich all the time. I'm not even a member. I dunno how I get away with it.
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02-03-2010 11:02 by tomcall
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some people come to Facebook just to air out their "dirty laundry", others just don't know how to clean it.
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02-03-2010 14:02 by Danmanz
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
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02-19-2010 03:42
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I have no problem giving credit where credit is due. It's giving payment where payment is due is where I struggle.
isn't it funny that when your internet goes down, your computer becomes completely uninteresting anymore? ........and you actually wanna go out and have a life?
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02-27-2010 10:18 by Talsier
Comments (1)
If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let certain people call me.
doesn't think you should ever compliment a lady on her mustache... no matter how magnificent it is.
If someone ever tells you "we need to talk" they dont care about anything you have to say.