Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Men & Women view the world differently. Men view the world as it is, women view it by whatever they make up in their minds and expect men to figure it all out. 
Foot fetishes are for men who don't know what boobs are
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
My sister came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Playstation.
In the movie of life, I am my own stunt double.
Face your problems,Don't Facebook them!
Sex is like music: for every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.
If Walmart really wanted to help its customers, they'd sell teeth.
I don't mind the cold weather but I'm ready for my wife to start shaving her pubes again!
Female president? Maybe when they rename it the Oval Kitchen.
now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.
clapping her hands and stomping her feet because she is happy and she knows it.
What has 148 teeth and can hold back the Hulk? My Zipper :]
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? (A} Almost Boobs {B} Barely there, {C} Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H)Help me, I've fallen
I'm gonna be honest, I don't even know where girls pee from.
why do people on Facebook make a effort out of telling everybody in a huge paragraph how bad & boring their day was to make people feel sympathetic...Get over it, everybody has their bad days but maybe it would be better if you kept it to yourself.
What where Abe Lincoln's first words after he woke up from a three day bender? " I FREED WHO?"
Ex-president Bush blamed BP for the disaster off the coast of Louisiana. Later he recanted saying "He thought BP stood for Black President."
Parents, I need some advice please. What's the right age to explain to children that FOX news isn't real? Thanks 