Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I like the night sky more than anything else in this world, its the only place where chaos is so peaceful.

   I wonder what would happen if a witness is asked to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and they say no?

   Feb 15, time to go back to not loving each other.

   Wow, just drove by the gas station and the guy changing prices has a chair camping out...no good can come of this!!

   I just awesomed all over the place.

   That awkward moment when someone you don't like sends you a friend request, then you decline. Then they send another one.

   ever stand there, making a pot of coffee, look at the coffee grounds and consider doing a line or two of em just to jump start the day? Yep, it's that kinda day !!!

   Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.

   When you love someone you check and recheck and then check again to make sure it's them you're sending a text to.

   FYI: If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

   Thanks for "Checking In". Now I know the place to avoid.

   If you die in a manner that leaves your body unrecognizable they identify you by your dental records; if they don't know who you are, how in the world would they know who your dentist is?"

   Want to see Congress meet the budget deadline? Lion cages with doors set to release at 12AM. Lock all the doors. Watch the cooperation.

   wondering if the goverment shuts down does that mean we will no longer have to pay taxes?t

   People Dont Leave bad Companies, But they leave Bad Bosses

   You know you're country when you use a horse trailer to move.

   With all the technology now you'd figure power rangers would have better graphics....

   can't seem to come up with anything clever this morning, apparently the voices in my head have decided to sleep in.

   thinks the NFL should stop giving complimentary cutlery sets to the players wives and girlfriends.

   The EPA has released that they are going to fine the United States Navy for dumping a piece of shot into the ocean