Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   just write any numbers in the sudoku boxes. It doesn't matter. We're all gonna die

   Breaking: Kiss renames their hit song to "Detroit Broke City'.

   The Royal baby has been named 'George'...Zippy and Bungle are mortified!

   A Fan Jumped on Stage and Pulls Beyonce Hair while she was Singing ? That's Messed up..

   I will name him George and I will hug him and squeeze him and pet him !!

   I'm sorry Will and Kate...but every baby born is a prince or princess

   Breaking News: Anthony Weiner is running for reerection!

   This cop is going to look like such a dumbass trying to give me a field sobriety test while I'm invisible.

   X says The royal baby has been named George Alexander Louis? They must watch a lot of Seinfeld reruns.

   Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it's never found again..

   Pretty sure I look forward to my boss' vacation's more than he does.

   The royal baby is a day old and is still more interesting than the Kardashian family, kanye west, and Lindsey Lohan combined

   I was sure they'd name that baby King Ralph...

   why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

   i bought a 30 pack of condoms and they expire in 2016. i’m crunching the numbers here and it’s not looking good

   Yeah,, yeah... I'm just putting our meeting in my calendar...... ( shakes etch-a-sketch )

   The baby's name is Prince George. Great! Now what do you all say we stop talking about it until he grows up, puts on a Nazi costume, and gets naked in Vegas?

   We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble wrap...

   I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks... I mean how do you not hear the music?

   Pressure builds on Weiner to pull out early!!!