Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

   Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

   might be bright out 2 day.. I'll probably be squinting like a Chilean miner...

   Okay lads, let's all remember this : What happened in the mine, stays in the mine.

   The miner in best shape came out last.. You know that kocky one with the abs,"El Situacion"

   Gavin Rossdale has admitted to a gay fling when he was younger.. In a related story, a gay dude admitted to making sh!tty music for 15 years.

   faking your birthday on facebook = finding out real friends

   its alot of birthday's today on facebook, maybe I should fake mines to feel more important

   Funny fat guy fall on face! -The Hangover

   what you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

   You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Schizophrenia- Me against all of me.

   Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

   Iphone has just patented anti sexting software..brett favre your going to want to get a DROID

   Hates it when I can't tell if it's a man or woman smiling at me. I don't know whether to smile back or run!!

   looking at the NFL schedule, the NFL needs to change who plays the Thanksgiving game. It should be Patriots vs. Redskins in Washington. Then, after the game, the Patriots kill the Redskins and take their stadium away from them...

   everyone was clapping for me when I got off the plane...I bet those military guys behind me were jealous.

   The only people who complain about FB having to much drama...is the people who just got caught doing something they wasnt supposed to be doing