Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 401 of 6385
An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" OBVIOUSLY, I thought I was going to get AWAY with it!
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12-23-2010 13:38 by Heather25
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When it comes to practicing the theory of "There are plenty fish in the sea", I tend to practice catch and release.
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12-23-2010 19:25
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Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
I just looked down at my shoes and one of them is not right.
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01-04-2011 12:20
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On my 8th slice of pizza watching the bigget loser!! Time to make a change!! Where's the remote??
The difference between a grizzly and a brown bear? Climb a tree. If the bear climbs after you, its a brown bear. If it knocks the tree down, its a grizzly.
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01-08-2011 13:55 by Hot Tea
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Google Earth: Helping stalkers since 2004.
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01-08-2011 21:30
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˜Sort of" shouldn't be used in certain phrases. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live" or "It's a boy."
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04-10-2010 13:48
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It's been announced that Nigeria has 22,980,000 internet users. I've received emails from every single one.
The best part of being me is that I'm not you...
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04-15-2010 23:16 by Joser
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used to say that I wanted to make ridiculous amounts of money. I probably should have chosen my words better
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05-01-2010 14:34
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I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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05-04-2010 00:09 by paulb808
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when I die, bury me with all my debts and a cell phone so I can haunt them for a change.
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05-07-2010 00:50
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I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources.
Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
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05-24-2010 18:22 by Aaron
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If a large box of cereal is considered "Family Size", would a large box of condoms be considered "Prevent a Family" size?
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06-03-2010 12:06
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Promises are like babies: easy to make but hard to deliver.
thinks you should NEVER look down on someone...unless you have a clear view of cleavage.
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06-21-2010 18:30 by Phire
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The best feeling in the world is realizing that you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed.
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01-16-2014 13:52
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