Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   thinks sleep is for people without Internet access.

   Nothing brings two people together like the mutual hatred of another person.

   Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people's backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.

   Lots of people out sick today. There's that new virus going around-- Unused Sick Days, apparently it's very contagious.

   I don't like people who can't make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.

   Hey, people who have those long ass names on FB like, "Kiesha HatersGonnaHateButI'mJustGonnaKeepOnBeingaBoss Jenkins," CUT THAT SHlT OUT!

   If a cop pulls you over for talking on your phone, just tell him you were reporting a drunk driver.

   If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate.

   Some of my best relationships now are with people who I dont have relationships with anymore.....

   The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.

   The two kinds of people at every party are those who want to go home and those who don't. Trouble is, they're usually married to each other.

   People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.

   There should be a separate social networking site for people who post inspirational quotes.

   One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.

   People that believe internet gossip are the same dumbasses that keep the Kardashians famous.

   "How fortunate for governments that the people they administer do not think" - Adolf Hitler

   If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people... Like you ate a pinecone every single d

   Before you judge people, make sure you're better than them, or at least you're not one of them.

   suggests: The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

   I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence.