Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 322 of 6385
Walk a mile in my shoes... Then walk another mile... In fact, just keep the shoes and keep walking.
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09-08-2010 11:45
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No matter how old I get, I will always be overly excited when I receive a hand written letter in the mail.
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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10-19-2010 02:22 by PL
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way...
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05-03-2010 19:23 by Joser
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I think you misunderstood me. I said "go phuck yourself" with a PH. So, that makes it cool and not remotely offensive... Phucktard.
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05-25-2010 18:20 by Joser
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Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives...
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05-25-2010 19:08 by rush1oc
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just wants someone to tell me how Facebook ends so I don't have finish all this reading.
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04-25-2010 00:53 by paulb808
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I've got all the money I'll ever need....... as long as I die by four o'clock this afternoon.
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04-27-2010 15:09 by champ33
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has been temporarily disconnected from AT&T...and my iPhone...where in the hell am I?!
Tourist Resort is a place where no one knows how unimportant you are at home.
The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk."
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06-15-2010 10:07
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Sometimes in order to see the light, you must blind yourself to bullsh*t
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06-27-2010 13:50 by Shou-Lin
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The best part of being a pedestrian is walking over the hood of the car of the person who stopped right in the middle of a crosswalk.
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07-13-2010 18:12 by Joser
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I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
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08-09-2010 00:50
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Kama Sutra has finally been published as an audio book. Unfortunatly the audio is provided by Gilbert Gottfried.
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08-10-2010 22:38
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thought the iPad was for the iPod for Bostonians
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01-28-2010 09:37
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Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember
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02-04-2010 22:43
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our finger prints last forever on the people we touch
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03-23-2010 17:02
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Heart palpitations count as cardio, right?
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10-24-2010 15:04
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Ready for my new work out video ABS of BEER!
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10-29-2010 22:01 by Mckibben
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