Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 265 of 6384
without a doubt the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
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11-05-2010 20:33
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7-11 is developing a new wine.. It's said to pair well with poor life choices and sadness
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12-07-2010 21:26 by jdpower
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"No big lifestyle change for Lindsay Lohan. She'll still be hanging around the bars"
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07-07-2010 11:47
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Women spend 2% of their lives trying to figure out where bruises on their legs came from
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08-23-2010 03:50 by paulb808
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If your New Year's resolution involves less drinking, debauchery or cursing, then it involves less of me.
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01-04-2011 12:49
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just spent my Saturday watching commercials on AMC interupted by 10 minutes segments of movie..
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01-15-2011 14:55 by timboss
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You're 10 years old and have a laptop, iPod and BlackBerry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokemon cards.
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01-26-2011 08:45 by Seddy90
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Can't get over the irony that they actually serve milk at "Hooters"
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01-02-2010 01:12
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can't stop sneezing because I'm allergic to your BS....
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01-13-2010 02:15
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they say eating fish makes you smarter, but the only ones you eat are the ones dumb enough to get caught
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02-18-2010 20:55 by @bigger23
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says - just when you think all your ducks are in a row, someone comes along and shoots one of them
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03-03-2010 01:28
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happy and I knew it and then I clapped my hand, everyone thought I was weirdo :/
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10-03-2011 10:26 by Muzammil
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Some people are wise, Some are just other wise.
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10-10-2011 19:46
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Attracting men is just like fishing. You just have to wiggle the bait.
Would like to remind all my friends who also spent Valentine's day alone, St. Patricks day is only a month away... Start drinking!
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02-15-2011 16:16 by Molly
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What did things taste like before there were chickens?
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02-18-2011 00:02
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Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.
Tomorrow is the end? Then I call "SHOTGUN"!!
Jail..the government's way of sending you to your room.
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05-23-2011 22:00 by BEGO
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My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
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06-13-2011 14:52
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