Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I LOVE it when people are overly sarcastic. No, really, it's great! Thanks a bunch!

   Wanna feel confident and attractive? Me too! Let's all get drunk!

   Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don't even know it.

   Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn’t have said.

   People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn't give a $#!t.

   Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.

   I planned to work out and have a nice body for people to look at this summer, but then I remembered I like food more than I like people...

   so what's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?

   Instead of testing products on animals, how about testing on people who don’t say thank you after you hold the door open for them. Just a suggestion.

   Charm me with your beauty and intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk.

   If you surround yourself with people who are full of drama, don't b*tch if a sh*tstorm is always blowing through your life.

   There are two kinds of people in the world- those I'd catch during a trust fall and those I wouldn't.

   My hometown is great for sightseeing if you want to see the People of Walmart in their natural habitat.

   I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard!

   Yard sales: When you want people to pay for your garbage!

   Considering renting out my services to people who need awkward situations made awkwarder.

   People you may know = People I'm ignoring & already know

   Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

   What did all these desperate people do to get laid before the internet?

   When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.