Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6306 of 6446

first we had mad cow disease, then we had bird flu, now we have swine flu, O.M.F.G it's FARMAGGEDON
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12-11-2009 01:26
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"Free at Last!! Free at Last!! Thank God Almighty it's Friday!!!!"
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12-11-2009 01:24
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if only life came with ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►► FF...buttons.
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12-11-2009 01:21
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a procrastinator... ehh i'll finish this post later
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12-11-2009 00:34 by chas
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...back in the 80's my mom would scold me and say "Don't use that tone of voice with me young lady!"....I just texted my 15-year old son and said "Don't use exclamation points with me Mister!"...my have times changed!

thinking about an Apple sporting goods store: iBalls
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12-10-2009 21:33 by Tim
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knows it's foggy and late in the day, but I'm pretty sure there's a unicorn behind me.
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12-10-2009 19:48
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eating Pizza Rolls and is not wearing pants.

Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing.

Marriage is not a word or a sentence, as reported above. It's an institution - like... prison.
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12-10-2009 13:52
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Obama gets a Nobel prize after sending 30k more troops. Stay tuned, next week Tiger Woods wins husband of the year.
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12-10-2009 13:51 by Fel
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thinks the voices in his head need serious singing lessons (ever heard the Smurfs performing Enter Sandman?)
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12-10-2009 12:31 by Harry
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Im not under the alkafluence of inkahol thet some thinkle peep I am!!!
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12-10-2009 12:18
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A new study found that house cats spend 22 percent of their days looking out windows, 12 percent playing with other pets, 8 percent climbing on chairs and just 6 percent sleeping. They also found that cats had the exact same schedule as Joe Biden.
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12-10-2009 12:18
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Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.

pulled last night. He approached a gorgeous girl and said "Look, I know you're in a different league to me, but! I'm willing to drop one for ya"
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12-10-2009 11:08
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I accept this Nobel Peace Prize, blah,,,blahh,,,,blahh,,,blah...blahhh.....................
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12-10-2009 10:54 by SCURRY
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wonders when John Mellencamp will write a song about the plight of the Facebook farmer?
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12-10-2009 10:38
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(Tiger's Christmas Song) Oh the weather outside is frightful. Having many tramps is so delightful. Just so my hot wife don't know…text a ho, text a ho, text a ho.
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12-10-2009 09:30
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wondering if blacks call it "Ask" Body Spray...
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12-10-2009 09:22
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