Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I think 3 left-handed monkeys, a shaved llama and pigeon with diarrhea could do a better job on designing the fb layout.

   As I have gotten older a lot of my opinions have changed, but what hasn't changed is mine are the only ones that matter.

   searching on google for her lost sweater

   PIMP Mode [On] - Off

   the Super Bowl is on February 7, The pre game started on February 3.

   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

   My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list

   Shin and/or Toe: Definition: Device(s) used to locate furniture in the dark......

   Use Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on e-bay?? I put in a bid for a "Mickey Mouse outfit" and now it seems I am only 15 minutes away from owning the "Saints Football Team"....

   Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because they are plugged into a genius.

   $14.97 cents of hotness. Which means that although my good looks cannot pay my bills they certainly can pay for a pizza which will give me $14.95 cents of temporary gratification and 2 cents to tell you off!

   How is getting a bj from a 75-year lady like bungee jumping? Whatever you do,don't look down!

   Ashley cole was arrested for speeding!! In his defence, he was told tht John Terry's car was parked outside his house!!!

   If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

   found the SPOT Tonites gonna b a good good nite...

   googling for Honest Politicians but the search keeps coming as "0" search found.

   Oh God! Please teach me to appreciate what I have, before time forces me to appreciate what I had