Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5850 of 6446

"Do you have faceboook?" ... "no but I have a myspace!" ... ummm 'we dont speak the same language'

These days a little bragging by saying, "I'm the bomb!!" might cause a stampede
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07-14-2010 08:01
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A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
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07-14-2010 07:56
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needs sum fuggin bug spray now!!! a flame thrower would b nice to hav also.....
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07-14-2010 07:20
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Guys have two heads. They cannot use them both at the same time!
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07-14-2010 04:27 by hayley
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I'm free of prejudices! I hate everyone equally :-)
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07-14-2010 03:11
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Wow Mel Gibson....did you really make 'Passion of the Christ' with that mouth and attitude...typical "holier than though" abusive man
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07-14-2010 02:56
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everyday I worry my friends are going to find out that I am not so witty and funny and the status wall will come crumbling down
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07-14-2010 02:52
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wisdom comes with age , but sometimes age comes alone!!!
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07-14-2010 01:29 by pz
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Men are good for two things and two things only... Going down on you and taking out the trash... And even then the only thing that seems to be done properly is taking out the trash
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07-14-2010 00:17 by Kg
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What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? Hey, we really DO taste like chicken!!
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07-13-2010 23:06
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Deja Vuvuzela - I think I've heard this buzz before....
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07-13-2010 22:59 by samdave69
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Google and Me, it's like we finish eachother's sentences."

after picking up and bringing home literally hundreds of women at bars over the years, I can tell you this: I'll never drive a cab again."

Trust me.. You DO NOT want to see how a Sausage Fest is Made!"

So many input boxes. Ever go to search for a girl on facebook and set her name as your status instead? Me either."

Every Morning I wake up and think, "Don't let it slip about Darth Vader being Luke's Dad." It's hard having a 5 year old who doesn't KNOW.
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07-13-2010 21:51
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I get really uncomfortable when people ask questions about sex. Like: "Is that it?"

it's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave."

enjoys when his girlfriend's bikini top accidentally comes off while frolicking in the ocean.
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07-13-2010 21:29
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